indefectibilem conteram vivere
by Luna'sHorcrux
Summary: I was nine, when she died. My mum was an evil, twisted being, but one could argue my papa was even worse.


Title: indefectibilem conteram vivere

Author: Luna'sHorcrux

Summary: I was nine, when it happened. And I knew who my mum really was - a monster's daughter.

Genre: Family, Tragedy

Characters: Luna Lovegood, Pandora Lovegood, Xenophilius Lovegood, Rolf Scamander, Lysander Scamander, Lorcan Scamander, Ginevra Weasley, Porpentina Scamander, Newt Scamander, Scorpius Malfoy, Lily Luna Potter, James Sirius Potter, Albus Severus Potter, Cepheus Malfoy (OC), Draco Malfoy, Astoria Greengrass, Mariely Zabini (OC)...etc., etc.

Rating: T for character death, homophobia, dark rituals, foul language, mention of miscarriage(s)

* * *

Author's Note: This a one shot about Pandora Lovegood. indefectibilem conteram vivere

means "break the unbreakable alive" in latin. At Least, according to google translate it does.

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, it belongs to Warner Bros., Arthur A. Levine Books, Scholastic, and J. K. Rowling.

* * *

I was nine, when it happened.

Now, you have to understand this: my mummy was a dark witch. She loved the darkness, and my Great Grandmother Felicity Lestrange told me once that she reveled in it.

* * *

Daddy told me that she was dangerous.

"Like Voldemort?" I asked, when I was four, and Mummy was out at a tea social with Bellatrix Lestrange and Rita Skeeter, both of whom she had gone to school with.

He looked at me odd, but shakily, he answered, "yes. Like Voldemort."

Mummy never told me who her parents were. She was just Pandora. No-last-name Pandora.

Papa was lying, when he said (when I asked), that he had no idea who Mummy's parents were.

* * *

Mummy was raised in an orphanage. Wool's Orphanage, it was called. Mummy talked about it with distaste, and her tone was bitter, whenever it was brought up. Unfortunately, I was a naive little girl, and I had the misfortune of being slapped when I asked about it.

"Horrible, vile place!" Mummy would say in a way that sounded almost like a hiss, it would continue with a hope for all people who had been there, to, "burn in hell, the lot of them!"

I learned a lot of words that way.

* * *

"I hate you, you miserable excuse for a human being! I bet you're a squib!" she would say, when she had drunk quite a lot of sherry.

I would stand there crying, and I'd run off to Papa, who would be inspecting a rock that looked similar to a bezoar, "I say, it looks just like a fossilized nargle!"

* * *

"Papa, why did you marry her, if she doesn't love you?" I asked one day.

Papa jerked, and turned around sharply to look at me. The items on the desk were accidentally shoved off, in his surprise. A glass of Dirigible Plum juice shattered, and the liquid flowed on the wood floors.

I looked down at the mess. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head, he seemed in a daze, "oh, Crescent Moon, it's okay. Nothing a cleaning charm can't fix." And with a raise of his wand, it was just that, clean, and back to how it'd been before.

"Papa, why did you marry her?" I asked again.

He rubbed his face with his hands, and sat down in his chair, "Crescent Moon, you must never tell your Mummy about this conversation, okay?"

"Okay, Papa."

"You know what a love potion is, right?"

"Yes, it's a potion that makes someone fall in love with someone else."

"Good, you'll need to know that when you get to Hogwarts. But, when I was young, 16 years old, I was in love with your Mummy."

"Did she love you too?"

"No. She didn't know I existed. She was an enigma, Pandora Salzar (she made up the name when she was 11, and that was what she was called). She was a Slytherin, you see. Her friends were Bellatrix Black and Rita Skeeter, and they were both very talented, and popular.

"I was not." He looked down at the floor, embarrassed. "I was a Hufflepuff, and no one knew me. I was paranoid and freakish, so the other Hufflepuffs didn't like me. I wasn't smart, my grades were mediocre at best, so the Ravenclaws didn't like me. I wasn't particularly daring, or good at Quidditch, so the Gryffindors didn't like me. My father was a muggleborn, my mother a squib, so the Slytherins didn't like me.

"I dosed her with Amortentia. I was very foolish, you see. I thought that she'd love me, actually, truly love me," he sighed, looking down at the ground.

"What happened?"

"When we finished Hogwarts, we got married. Then, we had you."

"I thought, that maybe, she might've come to truly love me. But, just to be sure, I had her make the unbreakable vow, that as long as she lived, she would live with me."

"Did you give her the antidote?"

"Yes," he said. "She hated me, she cursed me, held me under the cruciatus curse for hours on occasion, but she stayed with me."

"And now I'm here?"

"Yes. You are."

"Do you still love her?"

"Yes, Crescent Moon. Very much."

* * *

She was standing there, in the middle of a circle of candles. There was a symbol on the floor, one that looked like an ankh, and one that looked like a line inside of a circle inside of a triangle. I thought it looked a lot like the necklace Papa wore around his neck.

I stood and watched, silently. She was chanting, "indefectibilem conteram vivere" over and over again.

She poured unicorn blood into a gold cup and poured it over her head. She picked up her wand, then. Pointing it at her heart, she said the words, "indefectibilem conteram vivere."

But then, she fell flat on the floor, dead.

I screamed. Papa came running, and fell on his knees, crying in anguish.

* * *

"I know who you are. You're the king of the willpiggles, aren't you?"

Lord Voldemort laughed at me. "Granddaughter, you really are crazy, aren't you?"

I gasped, and fell to the floor.

Bellatrix Lestrange hit me with a spell, "crucio! Your mudblood of a father ruined my best friend's life! You're nothing better than a mudblood either, freak!"

I lay writhing in pain for hours on end, deeply disturbed by what I'd learned.

* * *

"Harry, you've come to rescue me from the willpiggles!"

"O-okay, Luna. Yes. I'm here to rescue you, from the, willpiggles. Is that blood on your face?"

"Oh, yes. I accidentally hit my head on the wall when I was dancing. I love dancing."

* * *

"Hi, my name is Luna. What's your name?"

"My name is Rolf."

"Are you interested in studying the relationship between nargles and dirigible plums? My papa's made a scientific study of it, and he needs an assistant."

He laughed, "you're too funny, Luna."

I frowned. "I'm not kidding."

"Oh," he scratched his head, embarrassed. "I guess I'll see what a nargle is, then. What creature classification are they under?"

"They're double-X."

"Hmm. Sounds interesting."

"I think I've heard your name before. Did you go to Hogwarts?"

"No, I was home schooled by my Grandfather."

"What's his name?"

"Newt. Newt Scamander."

I gasped, and my eyes lit up in surprise. I grinned, "my papa has wanted to talk to him since he read his book, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them! It's his second favorite book!"

Rolf laughed, "what's his all time favorite then?"

"It's a book his mother, Felicity Lovegood nee Lestrange wrote. It's called The Adventures of Piper the Nargle and his Best Friend Wilby the Wizard."

"Wasn't she insane?"

"My papa says she spent too much time with her pet augury, Chinchilla. She got a bit funny, but she was quite nice before Chinchilla bit her."

"Oh, well. That's, wonderful. I'm sure she was quite a nice lady," Rolf looked confused, as if he wasn't sure I was serious.

"Is."

"Is?" he asked, frowning.

"She lives in the Janus Thickey ward, at St. Mungo's. I visit her every Yule," I explained.

"Why on Yule?"

"That's her birthday," I said, smiling. "You're very nice, would you like to have tea at my house?"

"O-okay. I don't particularly have any plans at the moment, so sure."

* * *

"What did you say your name was?" Papa asked.

"Rolf Scamander, Sir," Rolf said, after he had had a sip of Papa's Dirigible Plum tea.

"Are you perhaps, related to Newt Scamander?" he asked, enthralled. He leaned forward in his seat.

"Why yes. He's my grandfather. I've lived with him all my life."

"What happened, pray tell, to your parents? I believe I went to school with them when I was younger," Papa frowned.

"They were killed in a Death Eater raid at Diagon Alley in 1979. I was little, and was staying at my Grandmother Porpentina's tea shop while my parents went out for dinner."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said, and Papa nodded.

"I really don't remember them much. As I told Luna, here, I grew up with my grandparents, and was homeschooled. When I turned about 13, I started working at my grandmother's tea shop. Speaking of which, Sir, your, Dirigible Plum was it?, tea is quite delicious. I'm almost certain my grandmother would love to get the recipe, and possibly sell it. I'm sure she'd pay you half of the profits, she always does, when she gets the recipe from someone else."

"Oh, alright," Papa nodded. "But only if you come visit us again. It's been rather quiet lately."

"Okay, how about next week on Thursday afternoon?"

* * *

"Luna, who is that man I saw you with at the pond? He's certainly handsome. Are you dating him?" Ginny asked, giggling.

"His name is Rolf Scamander, and he is my friend. Honestly, Ginny. You're married, and you have James, but you're no less immature."

"Mmm. Sure, he is. You know, ever since Neville and Hannah got married, I've been thinking I should set you up with someone."

"Honestly, Ginny. I'm fine. Oh, Ginny, look! An owl!"

"Who is it from?"

"Rolf. He's asked me to tea at his grandmother's tea shop."

Ginny giggled again, "I think he likes you."

"And I think, that if you weren't so pregnant, I would hex you."

"Oh, really?" Ginny asked, smirking.

"Really," I nodded.

* * *

"It's Rolf's birthday next week, Dear," Porpentina said, smiling at me.

"Rolf! You didn't tell me!" I said, surprised. "What day?"

"March 31st. I'm turning 30."

"I'll have to take you to the cinema in the afternoon, and we can see a movie. How about, _The Shaggy Dog_? It's new, and about a man who is bit by a dog, and turns into a somewhat weredog creature, only muggle."

"Okay, that's a date. I don't have plans until later. Oh, and Luna, you and your father can come to dinner with my and my grandparents. It'll be fun."

"Alright, well, I'll see you then."

I gave him a hug, then, to my surprise, when I went to leave, he leaned forward and kissed me.

Ginny was going to have a field day.

* * *

"Honestly, Ginny. It was just one kiss, it's not like we're getting married or anything."

"You say that now, Luna. But in about a year you'll owe me 5 galleons."

"I sighed, I really don't think-"

"Oh come on."

* * *

"Luna, you owe me five galleons."

"I refuse to respond to a bet I never agreed to," I scowled, playfully.

"Oh, fine. Go have fun on your honeymoon. The Bermuda Triangle is beautiful."

* * *

"What are we going to name them?"

"My grandfather, on my dad's side was named Lorcan. It means _little fierce one_."

Rolf looked at one of our sons, the one who had a freckle behind his ear. He was trying to bite his father's finger, even though he didn't have any teeth to bite with. He chuckled, "that will be a good name, we'll give it to our little one with the freckle behind his ear."

Lorcan looked up at Rolf, as if he knew he was being talked about. I laughed. "Yes, that'll do nicely. And for our other, non-freckled-behind-the-ear son?"

"I always liked the name Lysander. It means _liberator_, and Lysander was the name of a famous grecian," he suggested.

I smiled at him. "I like it, Rolf. Lorcan and Lysander Scamander. And for middle names?"

"Lysander Newt Scamander?"

"Ah. Are we naming them after father figures, then?" I asked.

"I suppose so," he answered, rocking Lysander Newt back and forth.

"Then I think Lorcan Xenophilius will do perfectly."

"Yes, it will. And Luna, I think we may be setting our children up to become little Gryffindors, at least with their name choices."

"Maybe. But I wouldn't care if they were in Slytherin."

* * *

I looked at the grave stone. Rolf sat beside me, on the bench.

"I was going to name her Tomaseana Pandora."

"Oh, Luna. I'm sorry."

I cried. I was going to name her after my mother's side of the family, because I knew, they could have gone a different way. And I knew, even if one was a terrorist and one was satanic, they were still my family.

I looked at Rolf. He had tear tracks running down his face, and he cried silently.

"Do we tell the twins?"

Rolf shook his head. "Maybe when they're older."

I nodded. "Yes, they are only twelve."

* * *

Lysander giggled. "And then, Mariely Zabini threw mashed potatoes at Camryn Nott for calling Lily a mudblood. And Camryn got detention with Professor Fisher, she's really strict, for two weeks!"

Lysander grinned. "And Mariely didn't get in trouble at all!"

I smiled. "That's good, we wouldn't want Lily in trouble, Merlin knows James gets detention aplenty for the lot of them."

Lorcan was silent, and he looked down at his mashed potatoes, as if he was thinking something far too complex for a 15 (almost 16) year old wizard to consider.

* * *

Lysander was celebrating his 16th at his girlfriend's house (Georgiana Boot).

Lorcan was in his room, reading. He loved the Enchanted Encounters series, by Fifi LaFolle. I'd never read it, but Lorcan loved it. From what Ginny told me, it was a novel about a girl who was struggling to hide her homosexuality from a prejudice society.

It was based off of Fifi's younger sister's story, Margaret LaFolle. Ginny told me that Fifi, growing up, had always wanted the best for her sister, and the happy events of the story was what she wished could've happened for Margaret, who hung herself after her sexuality was discovered (she was found with another witch, Esmelda Prewett).

Rolf had gone to visit Porpentina, who was struggling to deal with Newt's death, as her own health deteriorated.

I thought I heard something coming from Lorcan's bedroom. Silently, I crept up the stairs and peeked through the door.

Lorcan was crying. He held a knife in one hand, as his wrists were bleeding.

I screamed, and ran into his room. Panicked, I summoned my medic kit, and bandaged his wrists. When I was satisfied that he was okay, I held him close to me in a hug, sobbing. "Lorcan Xenophilius Scamander, don't you ever do that again, do you hear me!"

He cried too.

After we had both had some dirigible plum tea to calm our nerves (all dirigible plum food products were a huge bestseller), I asked him a question.

"Why?"

"Mum, please don't get rid of me for this, okay?" he asked, shakily.

"I'd never get rid of you, Lorcan. I love you."

"Mum, I'm gay," he started crying, as if he thought I'd slap him or disown him.

"Lorcan, why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"Because I thought you'd hate me. Lysander…the things he and his friends say about gay wizards and witches, I thought maybe you were all like that."

"It's alright, Lorcan. I'll knock some sense into your brother. And your dad has no problem with gays. His great-uncle Wulfric was gay."

"Mum, I...just-"

He never got a chance to finish.

Lysander had gotten back, and he was looking at us with disgust. "So you're actually supporting the faggot? I thought you were better than that!"

"How dare you speak about your brother that way!" I yelled. "I'm disgusted with you, Lysander! How could you be so prejudice? I thought you didn't care about someone's blood status or race? What makes someone's sexuality so different?"

"It's freakish, abnormal. I don't want to be around someone like, like him!" Lysander pointed at Lorcan in disgust.

"Then don't! Go to your girlfriend's house! I don't want you to be here if you're going to be so mean to your brother! He didn't do anything to you, Lysander."

Crying, I dug into my purse, and pulled out 50 Galleons. I handed it to Lysander. "Here's some money, go stay with someone else until you can stop acting so prejudiced."

Lysander left in a huff.

* * *

Rolf arrived at the house 20 minutes later. Lorcan was upstairs, crying, when he got home.

I explained everything to him, and Rolf sat down on the couch, confused. "I thought we raised him better than that, Luna."

"I know, Rolf. I can't believe it either. Will you go talk to Lorcan? He's worried you won't accept him.

* * *

Lysander never came back. We saw a notice, in the Daily Prophet, seven years later.

**Lorcan Scamander, Great-Grandson of Newt Scamander, Marries Mariely Zabini**

Porpentina died of Dragon Pox five years later. Rolf, Lorcan and I went to her funeral, along with the Potters and the Weasleys, as well as many other magical families. We grieved together, and, I thought I saw Lysander and his wife, Mariely, standing in the back of the crowd. I smiled at him, but he left before I could talk to him.

* * *

James married a young witch named Emily Boot, who played quidditch and was in Gryffindor. They had a daughter, named Rachel, and later a son, named Herbert.

Albus never married, and went on to adopt a little girl, Olivia Carrow, who was a squib, and the daughter of a girl I used to go to school with.

As for Lily, she married Scorpius Malfoy, and they had triplets: Amber Narcissa, Nerys Ginevra, and Ariana Astoria.

Lorcan married Scorpius Malfoy's younger brother, Cepheus Eridanus Malfoy. They adopted a newborn baby boy, and named him after my father, who had recently died of Scrofungulus. His name was Tom Xenophilius.

I smiled, when I heard about it. Like Ginny said, all was well.

* * *

Author's Note: Sometimes, I wonder what happened to characters, such as Pandora Lovegood. This is the story behind it. I hope you all liked it, and if you see any mistakes, please tell me. I usually write short fragments of a story, and string them together. Do you like this style? Should I make the scenes longer? What did I leave out, what did I add that was unnecessary?

Please drop a review, giving me criticism, it helps me make my writing better.

-Luna'sHorcrux

P.S.: On my profile, there will be a link to the complete family tree for this story. I should also have links to a page on harrypotterwiki about Scrofungulus and Dragon Pox. Check out my wikia: Luna's Horcrux Wiki, which has behind the scenes information on my writing. Yes, I am in fact a nerd.


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